For me, adopting Lynda was THE thing that changed me. Parenting a child with critical medical issues and being on the autism spectrum was difficult. The laws were just being written to include these children in public education and many doctors still believed that somehow children with autism didn't feel pain. Every day changed me. I became an advocate for people with special needs and truly began to look at the world through the eyes of a child with disabilities.
You cannot go back to the person you were after your child is physically abused. You cannot go back to the person you were when your child has a stroke and all memories are wiped away. You will never go back to the person you were when you hold your child in your arms as she takes her last breath on this earth or you visit a grave that is marked with her name.
The same is true of the flip side of the coin. I was never the same after that sweet little blond dart walked (no jumped) into my life. I was never the same after she looked up at me and said "Nana". I was never the same after I watched her swing for the first time by herself after she had worked for months to do it. I was never the same after I became Lynda's mother because I learned to appreciate every minute of every day and celebrate the tiny accomplishments as if they were Nobel Prize moments. She added another dimension to the word love. She showed me what total dependence was and how blessed I was that God had chosen me to be Lynda's second mother.
There have been many things that I've gone through that have changed me and I will never be the same. I'm still finding the person that I've become after Lynda died. Some days I'm stronger. Some days not. This I do know. If I had it to do again, I would gladly go through the things that have changed me. God took me there and He doesn't want me to be the person I was before. It's all a part of the Master's plan.
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