As most of you know my daughter Lynda became critically ill two years ago and was placed on life-support. We struggled to find out the extent of her illnesses which had begun with aspiration during a seizure resulting in immediate life-threatening breathing problems necessitating being placed on a ventilator. She developed sepsis and began to actually improve only for us to find she had cancer in her entire abdomen. At this point, four days after entering the emergency room, there was no doubt that we were going to remove her from life support and allow her to be comfortable and loved in hospice in the hospital.
When I came home after she died and we were planning for her funeral, this little white dog's ears and face were soaking wet with my tears...day after day. Night after night. He knew I was in pain and he stood looking at me with such concern in his eyes, I would dry my tears and explain to him that I was okay. He lay with me. I held him and closed my eyes and could still feel Lynda near me when I felt his soft hair next to my face like hers. I felt his warm body and the sound of his heartbeat was comforting enough to sometimes fall asleep for a few minutes. He was my therapy. He was my friend. He was one of God's gifts to me to ease the pain of the loss I was feeling having experienced my child die in my arms.
Now he is sick and I lie with him and comfort him as he comforted me. There is a special bond between this gentle soul who quickly adjusted his activity level to my needs. I know that if I can bury a child and walk through the shadows of uncertainty and come out of it on the other side knowing I made the right decisions for Lynda...I will know when it's time to let Kirby go, too. Like with Lynda, it was always a desire to be sure there was nothing else that could be done and being sure that
when this was true to not allow suffering to continue. We aren't there yet but it will come. That is the same situation with Kirby, even though he is an animal and not a human child. He is loved and he is cherished but it is a category much different than that of a child. Still this dog has connections
to my child. And when the time comes to say good-bye to him, there are more deep emotions involved than simply losing a pet and that would be hard enough. Kirby was here when Lynda came home to visit. He was here when she went back to NMRC and I lay in the bed and cried. God blessed me with a warm, soft living creature to comfort this mother when the nights were long and relentless. He seems wise beyond his years. Overnight he became blind. Overnight he became old.
When it's Kirby's time to go I believe dogs do go to heaven and I know Lynda is going to be there waiting to play with her first dog.
I imagine him snuggling up next to her as he does me and hopefully she will feel me next to her through Kirby as I felt her presence with me. God is amazing and I know that when he describes heaven as the perfect place it is going to include our beloved pets and all of the animals he created. They can all walk the streets of heaven because they will be tame and harmless since heaven is perfect. The Bible doesn't tell us this. It is just my opinion and I trust God to design paradise with so much more than human hearts and minds could ever fathom.
The anniversary of Lynda's death is this August 3rd. It will be two years. I know that this makes Kirby's illness even more emotional for me because I'm thinking about Lynda so much. We have said since we first got our dogs that we knew one day we would be called upon to give them up. We decided long ago to enjoy them every single day, to spoil them and when we had to give them up we would look at the good times and try not to dwell on our loss. We have sure loved and continue to love Kirby and have such wonderful memories of the past nine and a half years. So happy God is allowing us to take care of him in his time of needing his
people.
to read more about Kirby visit our blog at www.ourkirbydog.blogspot.com
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