Lynda's Aversion To Clothes

 I don't know what it is about some kids and clothes but Lynda's opinion of them was that they were put upon her body for her to have fun taking off.  Of course, I didn't know this at first.  If I had...it would have taken some of the fun out of it.  We wanted to buy her baby dolls and dress her like one because she was blond and blue-eyed and as beautiful as a porcelain doll.  This little doll didn't like to play with conventional toys and she did not care for being "all dolled up" either.  Remember though I was  22 years old at the time and very naive about so just how difficult can it be to keep clothes on a three year old?  I was still trying to keep clothes on her at ages four to 22 but I no longer wondered how difficult it could be.  I KNEW THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE!  Shoes were the first things to come off.  Most of the time that didn't matter.  She wore disposable diapers so if she had on shorts she could mysteriously pick a little piece of cotton from the edge of the diaper when you blinked.  Then you'd notice another and another until it looked as though it had snowed.  This earned her the title of "the snow queen" and stuck through the years.

After the first night of Lynda sleeping in her own bed all night while I paced the floor to make sure she was okay, I let my guard down and assumed all would be the same the second night.  Not hardly.  Lynda had enough sleep the first night so on the second night she decided to drop her Raggedy Ann dolls down the hall floor furnace. That prompted a new baby bed in our room the next day.  This is how it went.  We'd put her to bed.  She'd crawl out.  We'd put her to bed.  She'd crawl out.  Next day we decided we were going to have to put a canopy on top of the bed so she would stay in.  After all we were sleeping right beside her not more than 2 feet away from the foot of our bed.  We made a cute top with grommets and laced it all up really cute.  We had put her into the bed with her blanket, her pillow, a favorite rattle toy that made noise as it was turned from side to side.  This was the ultimate answer to the problem.  She was safe and secure.  She could see us.  We knew she wasn't going to roam around the house starting fires by putting things down the floor furnace.  We were beginning to take a few deep breathes.  We bought a baby monitor and put one beside her bed and one in the den which was just next door.  So we listened and heard noises that we couldn't figure out.  We slipped around to one of the doors to peep in to see what she was doing.  On the floor beside her baby bed lay her pillow that she had stuffed through the rails of the bed.  Next to it was her favorite lavender blanket (twin size).  Then on top was the baby sheet and the bottoms of her pj's.  It wasn't hard to find the pajama top right under the diaper she had taken off and dropped into the pile.  Now you're probably imaging this little blond girl dressed only in her cute birthday suit sitting in the baby bed looking out the rails at the things she'd tossed overboard.  Well, you'd be wrong.  The cute little girl dressed only in her birthday suit had managed to untie one of the grommet ties and wiggle through a spot about eight inches wide.  She had pulled herself up to the canvas top and was sitting there with the biggest grin on her face just kind of rocking from side to side on the top of her baby bed that was designed to keep her inside.  That was the beginning of her second name "Houdini" because she could get out of anything regardless how small.  She could have leotards on under a one piece jumpsuit and get the tights off without taking the jumpsuit off.  She could also make "snow" without doing either.  Her arms were like Stretch Armstrong and she could easily put her legs around her neck and did so until she was in her 40's.  Lynda never had any problems with flexibility nor with being able to get things that she wasn't supposed to have by using her "stretch Armstrong" abilities as she kept her gaze right on you.  It was like if she was looking at you, you couldn't see her getting the potato chips off your plate or inching just a little at a time off the big bed she was lying with us until her feet touched the floor.

When she was about six years old and in special Olympics about to participate in the shortest race they had the money was on Lynda to win because she could run like the wind.  The little kids gathered at the line.  We held them tightly until the whistle was blown and off they went...some even in the right direction.  I yelled as Lynda began her sprint "RUN LYNDA.  TAKE OFF!  RUN!"  So, this little blond haired special Olympian stopped right in her tracks and did exactly what I had yelled...she began to take her clothes off.  First her pants and I got there before she made it to the diaper.  We were all laughing so hard that none of us were much help at getting her pants back on and getting her back into the race.  For the record, Lynda did come in last in the race that year but she drew the greatest round of applause and laughter.  Note to self:  Children with autism are very literal in their use of language.  Later years at Special Olympics found this Nana yelling "Run, Lynda, RUN!"