We Appreciate the 8000 Views....

Once again it is humbling to know that in the eight months that Lynda's blog has been online as a memorial to her life....there have been 8,000 views from people representing countries from around the world. 

We weren't ready to let Lynda go...We will never forget her and how she touched our lives in so many ways.  We will always keep her memory alive and we thank you for joining us every day in this effort.

Lynda never spoke more than a dozen words yet she profoundly changed lives during her forty-two years on this planet.  She continues to do so through the stories of her life and through those of us who have been forever changed by her life.

I am blessed to be her mother and I thank God every day for leading me to her and for trusting me to take care of one of his precious forever children.

April is Autism Awareness Month....

April is autism awareness month but every day deserves our world taking note of how many children are born with with autism.  1 in 68 children.  These are the new statistics for the incidence of autism. 

When Lynda was born in 1971 and the years following when she was a toddler, there was very little known about autism.  Children who had dual disabilities such as autism and cognitive impairments were not classified as autistic.  Yet autism was actually her primary disability.

Children with autism are absolutely fascinating....some of God's most wonderful creations! 

Eight months....

Eight months since Lynda went to heaven and each day seems to have so many more hours than 24 when it comes to missing her.  Eight months literally feels like years.  I don't care what the circumstances or what age your child is when she dies...a mother is never ready to say good-bye even knowing that we'll be together again one day.  In my mind I know that she is perfect and whole...enjoying her new life in ways I cannot even imagine.  I am her mother and I should be there with her and I am their mother and although they are grown I should be here for them, too.  So until we are all there together, I will continue to be missing one of my children and it isn't a natural feeling.  It's a feeling that we gradually grow into but one that never really fits.

I am reminded of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:8..."We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord."  That's what we're all longing for and Lynda is the first to accomplish this magnificent transformation.  Eight months later I continue to praise God for Lynda and my mother's heart continues to miss her.

...Until It Becomes A Memory

I think this is no truer than when we lose a loved one and all we are left with are memories.  Lynda's life had so many moments that God allowed us to know at the time we were experiencing them that we should and would value these moments that took our breath away.  Some were seeing Lynda master skills that she had worked years to accomplish like riding a tricycle.  Some were moments when things others take for granted like hugs from their child were treasured gifts that we tried at the moment to memorize every detail to savor it again and again.

Still life happens.  Lynda didn't remain an only child and time didn't increase as the years went by.  On the contrary life crowded in and unimaginable things happened like strokes and abuse and years ago when Lynda was only ten years old, we learned the value of a moment and we also learned the hard lesson that sometimes we don't really know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.  That moment when circumstances changed the Lynda we knew and returned to us a different child with the Lynda who ran and played non-stop as just a memory.

There is absolutely no way for us to know  the value of the all the moments that will some day become memories.  We just have to live each day trying to wring out all of the drops of joy from a day that is often full of heartache.  It's always there.  Finally when the moments do become memories we embrace them for all they're worth and if we're lucky we did know the value of many, many moments long before they became memories since that only deepens and makes richer our memories.

Missing You...

This week I've thought about you and although I miss you every single day...tonight is a night that my heart is thinking about another Friday night...the one that was on August 2nd when I lay in the bed and held you for the last time.  Oh, I know that you are so happy and completely healed and I would never want you to have to go through the pain you endured for so many years.  But tonight I'm just sad that I can't watch you pat my back when we walked outside together or see you clap your hands and make your sounds when you were riding in the car and listening to your favorite music.

I'm so happy that you are with Jesus and so many people who love you and were waiting for you to arrive.  I'm just missing my little girl tonight a little bit more than usual (if that is even possible).  I pray that God will wrap his arms around you and tell you how much I love you and how proud I am that you were my daughter on earth and that I cannot wait to see you again in heaven.

Just thinking about yo being su perfect and whole...talking and walking  about heaven helps me cope tonight with  missing you. 

Love You to Heaven and Back....

Has it only been seven months?  It feels like years since you were here.  Years.  And yet I know for you in heaven it seems like you've just arrived.  Eternity is like that the Bible tells us and this life on earth waiting to get to see you again feels like just the opposite.  The days are long.  The nights are longer.

My comfort comes from God's promises that we'll be together again and what seems like an eternity is really only a blink of the eye.  It's all in the your perspective of whether you're on earth longingly looking toward heaven or you're in heaven looking at eternity as it stretches into infinity in the arms of Jesus.

My love for you doesn't change just because you are in heaven.  I love you to heaven and back.

Seven Months in Paradise...

Seven months can seem like it was just yesterday and simultaneously feel like it has been years instead of months.  I think of Lynda many times a day and wish I could get a glimpse of her in heaven.  I imagine her surrounded in beautiful colors...vibrant hues to capture the intensity of her sweet personality and energy.  I miss her.  I have boxes of pictures but not enough.  I have movies of her in my mind and I watch them when the longing to hold her becomes overwhelming.

I never think of Lynda without thinking of God.  I will never be able to thank Him enough for sending Jesus to make it possible for us to live with the Trinity for eternity.  I start to miss Lynda and I think of her in paradise where there is no sickness, no sadness and no death.

I know where my daughter is and I know who she is with.  It is mind boggling to realize that she is a daughter of the King of the universe.  Lynda's life on earth was not always a happy one because she lived in an imperfect world with imperfect people who didn't understand the treasure that she was.  But that has all changed in the blink of an eye.  God is good all the time!