Three months later it still hurts and for so many days I wondered if I would ever be the same again. There was an old song performed by the group Accapella called "Do Not Be Afraid For God is With You" that I had in the car and listened to it over and over. Before the funeral. After the funeral. Any time I felt the strength leaving my body....I played that song and remembered that no matter what....God was with me. God had Lynda in His arms and although I couldn't feel them, He had me in His arms as well.
Three months later I am beginning to be able to focus on things more and it seems that where my hair was coming out by the handful due to stress the hair loss is beginning to slow. It's not as difficult to put one foot in front of the other. God is using time to heal my heart by reminding me each day how happy Lynda is now.
God has certainly brought me through many, many dark times with Lynda that fear threatened to suffocate me. Grabbing onto His promises through faith is the only way I will ever survive any of satan's attacks.
I can't believe it is now November. August 2nd to November 2nd has been a blur. It's through these types of days that we really do have to choose faith over the fear that threatens to immobilize us. And we have to do it over and over each day. Each hour, even each minute.
I thank God for Lynda and celebrate today her life here on earth with me and her life eternally in heaven where by faith I know I will see her again and live with her forever. With a million times more eagerness than I greeted each Christmas morning as a child, I look forward to the day that I will see her again and be able to fall to my knees to thank God for all He has done for Lynda and for me.
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