Nana's Angel

The first thing that I notice about this picture is the happiness on both our faces.  Lynda was almost four.  I had been her Nana for several months and she was to the point that she didn't fight me when I held her.  She actually enjoyed it as is obvious in this picture.  She was cutting those eyes around at her Daddy who was taking the picture.  Truly one of the moments that I'm thankful was captured on film.  I was oh so young and head over hills in love with this little blond haired bombshell.

By the time this picture was taken, Lynda had already melted my heart by calling me "nana" when she was in the hospital after having a seizure lasting for hours.  I had gone from shoulder length hair to this "short do" because I could more easily wash it and style it with one hand holding Lynda.  I was clearly learning to adapt.  And so was Lynda.  She had never had anyone suggest she might eat with a spoon instead of her hands or sleep in a bed during the night.  I look at our picture and for now  I don't remember the years that followed.  I'm just drawn into the memories of the early years with Lynda and I smile when I think of her and that time in my life.

Yes, it has been a year since Lynda left earth to be carried to heaven by Jesus and His angels.  My heart has experienced every emotion not once but hundreds of times in the past 365 days.  I've wondered during the year what I would feel and do when the anniversary of that day rolled around.  What God has helped me to be able to do is celebrate the years He loaned Lynda to me as my daughter and to praise Him for gathering her frail body up from this earth and transforming her into a new creature in heaven.

It is just human nature to remember the day a year later that she became ill and entered the emergency room.  The day she went on a respirator and the struggles she had while in intensive care.  To remember the day we got the news that she was beyond hope for recovery and the decision to remove her from the respirator so she could play with her toys and move upstairs to hospice.  To remember the last night I held her in my arms throughout the night while I sang every song I knew to her as I watched her slip closer and closer to heaven.

But that is exactly what happened.  The worse the conditions became for her on earth, the closer she was to being eternally perfect and in the presence of God.  It is possible to mourn the loss of a loved one while dancing for joy at the same time.  This earth was never meant to be Lynda's home.  She was just passing through and when she did she touched the lives and hearts of many people.  I cannot wait to join Lynda in heaven and sit for eternity listening to the sweet voice that I have only heard speak eight or nine words.  I long to hold her in my arms and tell her she blessed my life and how thankful I am to have known her and to have been chosen by God to be her mother.

Happy first year anniversary of your first day in heaven, Lynda.  I know you are dancing on stars and those of us who knew you here praise God for you and I celebrate you today with joy in my heart.